What if?
by Lieutenant Thalia
Summary: This was a one shot, but is now a collection of one shots. Each chapter will be written about a "what if" of the Buffyverse. Comment or PM me with a prompt- a "what if" that you'd like me to write about. I own nothing.
1. Buffy's Wish

**A/N~ I don't own Buffy, as I am not, in fact, Joss Whedon, King of Geeks. I'm not saying I never will be, because I believe you can be anything you want to be, but if I was, I feel like I would know about it...**

 **What if... Buffy was given a wish and used it to resurrect Tara.**

* * *

"Damn it, I need to think of better lines." Buffy cursed, as a demon turned to dust before her eyes. She felt a second demon plodding up behind her. "See ya in Hell!" She shouted, plunging her stake into it's chest. The demon disappeared, only to be replaced by a bright light, which was almost blinding in the dark graveyard. She shielded her eyes but lowered her arm just as quickly, in case it was a new type of demon and she had blocked it from her sight. She looked around. "Well, this doesn't look like a graveyard." She frowned, spinning on the spot.

Buffy began to panic. There was nothing. Miles and miles of nothing. A flat, endless plain of nothing. She looked down and saw a white mist swirling around her ankles. Okay, so almost nothing.

"I know this place." Buffy frowned. Her eyes widened. "No! Please don't tell me I'm dead again! So not fair!"

"Of course not, Slayer." A voice said inside her head.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"A messenger. I represent the Powers That Be."

"And what do you want?"

"Actually, our focus is on what _you_ want."

"Meaning?"

"You are the longest surviving Slayer. Your slay count is exceptionally high."

"And?"

"And you have just slayed your 1000th demon."

"Cool. Do I get a prize?"

"Yes."

"I was joking. Now it sounds like you're messing with me. What is this? Like, when you buy 11 cups of coffee and get the 12th free?"

"I have little knowledge of this custom. I come only to deliver a message. The Powers That Be wish to reward you for your many years of service."

"Reward me how?"

"One wish."

"A wish?"

"One wish. No consequences, no terms, no conditions or strings. Except…"

"Oh, here we go."

"The wish must be made within twenty four hours. Anything you ask for will be given to you. Extend your hand." She did, and a flat silver disc appeared in her palm. "When you are ready, use this to summon us."

"But how do I…" Buffy looked around. She was back in the graveyard. "Nope. Gone."

* * *

"Xander, if you could wish for anything, what would it be?" Buffy asked, playing with the disc. He opened his mouth. "You can't say more wishes." She added. He closed his mouth.

"Well, having my eye back would be nice." He said after a short silence. "Or a bottomless chocolate sundae. With fudge. And nuts. And a cherry, and-"

"Xander!" Buffy groaned, slapping his arm lightly.

"Ow! Slayer strength!"

"Sorry. I forgot." Buffy winced.

After a brief silence Xander asked. "Is that what you would wish for?" At her confused look, he continued. "Would you wish to not be the Slayer? You wouldn't have to go out and kill demons on a nightly basis. You could have a normal life. Not risk dying. For the third time, anyway."

That would be nice. Having a normal life. Not having to carry a stake with her at all times. Not being a target for all the Big Bads.

"So, what's with the dreaming? Why would you think about it?" Xander asked.

"Oh, no reason." Buffy shrugged. "Just… you know me, thinking too much." She chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Willow asked, entering the kitchen.

"Buffy was thinking." Xander told her.

"Oh."

"I asked Xand if he had one wish what would he wish for." Buffy shrugged.

"Let me guess. He said he'd wish for a giant ice cream or something." Willow laughed, rolling her eyes slightly.

"In one." Buffy smiled. "What about you, Will? What would you wish for?"

"No consequences?" Willow asked. Buffy nodded. Willow replied immediately, a small smile on her face, clearly lost in memories. "Oh, that's easy. I would wish to bring back Ta-"

"Willow!" Kennedy called from somewhere in the house.

"Coming, Kennedy!" Willow replied. She smiled sadly at her friends. "I have to go." Willow walked out of the kitchen, and Buffy remembered a time when she had practically skipped everywhere because she was always so happy.

Tara. That's what Willow was going to say. She would bring back Tara. "It's not like the idea lacks appeal." Buffy muttered to herself.

"You say something, Buff?" Xander asked.

"Nope." Buffy smiled slightly. She could hear Willow and Kennedy doing… whatever it was that they did in their room. Her eyes drifted towards the empty doorway Willow had left through. She frowned. "Xand… Do you think…" She trailed off, words suddenly failing her, but Xander understood.

"That Willow's okay?" Xander continued. Buffy nodded. "No. Of course not. Tara was her soulmate. Now she's gone, Willow is all alone. And she feels like half of her is missing. Like… like that phantom limb syndrome thing. When I wake up, in those few seconds it takes my brain to realise the basics; y'know, who I am, where I am, who's lying next to me, I sometimes feel like my eye is still there. But for Will it's worse. Because it's so much more than that. It's her other half that's missing. And it's all the time. She's always reminded of what she doesn't have. _Who_ she doesn't have. Of course she'd bring Tara back. Now I think about it, I would, too."

"You would?" Buffy asked.

"I've gone this long with one eye. And I miss Tara. We all do. I could go without two eyes if I could see Tara back with one." Xander smiled slightly.

"Wow. You really miss her."

"Almost as much as I miss Willow." Xander replied sincerely, his smile gone.

"What are you talking about? She's literally in the next room." Buffy frowned.

"Is she?" Xander asked, leaving the room.

* * *

"Angel. You could restore his humanity. Bring him back." Faith shrugged. "Look, B, we both know he's miserable. If you brought him back, the two of you could get together."

"Why are you saying that? Why do you want us together?" Buffy asked.

"I just want you to be happy." Faith said sincerely. "Whoever it's with." She whispered slightly.

"Why do you think I need someone?" Buffy asked.

"We all need someone, B." Faith said.

"You don't have someone." Buffy replied.

"I have you." Faith told her.

"That's not the same. You need someone, Faith."

"I don't need anyone else." Faith said.

"That's not true." Buffy challenged.

"I don't like anyone else. I don't trust anyone else. Except, I trusted the mayor, I guess, and we all know how _that_ turned out. But you, you I trust. And you haven't let me down… yet, anyway. I love ya, B." Faith shrugged. Then her eyes widened, realising what she'd said.

"You what?" Buffy asked.

"Nothin'. I gotta go patrol." Faith said, shrugging on her jacket and leaving the house ASAP.

Faith was going on patrol. Since Buffy had been called about two hours into patrol that meant she had two hours until her wish expired.

* * *

"What should I do, Dawnie?" Buffy asked.

"I can't tell you." Dawn said sadly.

"What? Why not?" Buffy pouted.

"Because we both know what I'm going to say." Dawn said simply.

"Mom."

Dawn nodded. "But you can't do that. There aren't enough wishes in the world for us to all get what we want. And I can't tell you to bring mom back, because I don't deserve to be put over everyone else. And I don't want you to think I'll hate you if you don't do what I tell you to. I'm almost certain that you know what you want. You're sure of yourself. Way more than I am. And I actually have a feeling that you know what you want to wish for, you just needed me to tell you you were right. And, look… If you tell anyone this, I'll deny it, but… whatever you want to wish for… it's probably right."

"Thanks, Dawnie. I love ya, sis." Buffy smiled. She ruffled Dawn's hair and then put her hand on the disc.

* * *

"Have you made your decision, Miss Summers?" The messenger asked.

"I have." Buffy said.

"What is your wish?" The voice asked.

"I wish for Tara Maclay to be restored, and for her to be brought here so I can take her back with me to Earth." Buffy responded.

"Very well." The voice said. Seconds later, Tara appeared in front of her.

"Buffy? What's… what's going on? Where am I?" Tara frowned, only to be followed by her collapsing suddenly.

"What's wrong with her?" Buffy asked.

"She's merely disoriented. She may remain that way for a few hours."

"I can't take her back like that." Buffy complained.

"We will put a simple cloaking spell on her." The disc vibrated slightly in Buffy's pocket. "When you wish for her to be visible, the disc will remove the cloaking spell. Ready to go?" The voice asked. Buffy nodded. "Very well. Thank you, Slayer."

"You're…" Buffy looked around, realising she was in her own bedroom. "Welcome?"

* * *

"Buffy?" Tara asked.

"Hey, Tara."

"Where's Willow? What's happening? Where are we?" Tara asked.

"We're at my house." Buffy replied.

"Is Willow here?" Tara repeated.

"Yes. She's here."

"Willow." Tara whispered the other woman's name like it was a prayer. She jumped up from her position on the floor and stumbled towards the door, tripping over her own feet with every step.

"Tara, wait." Buffy called quietly enough to avoid alerting someone to the blonde's return.

She saw the blonde half-run, half-fall towards Willow's room. She opened the door just a crack and looked in. "Oh." She breathed. She turned to Buffy. "Uncloak me." Buffy did. When she was visible she opened the door another fraction.

"Kennedy." Willow gasped, putting her hands on Kennedy's shoulders.

"Yes, love?" Kennedy asked, not moving her hands from inside Willow's skirt.

Tara closed the door and leant her back against it, sliding down the wood. Tears began to well up in her eyes and she closed her eyes, shutting out the world as she took a deep breath.

"Come with me, there's a few things you need to catch up on." Buffy said, extending a hand. Tara ignored it and ran into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind her.

"Who was that, B?" Faith asked, coming up the stairs.

"Back from patrol already? You okay?" Buffy checked.

"Slow night." Faith shrugged, showing Buffy her lack of injuries proudly. Buffy smiled.

"Faith. I used my wish."

"Do I need to ask what on?" Faith asked.

"Tara. I brought her back. But there's a problem." Buffy grimaced.

"Kennedy?"

Buffy nodded. "Tara saw Kennedy and Willow… together."

"Shit."

"And then she ran into the bathroom." Buffy continued.

Faith's eyes widened. "And you let her? B, open the door."

"I can't. She locked it." Buffy said.

"Shit."

"What? There's more to it, isn't there?"

"She's a girl who's had her heart broken. Open the door. Now. Or risk never being able to get her back. Not everyone can be resurrected a second time."

"Shit." Buffy cursed, kicking the wood around the lock. "Tara! Let me in!" Buffy said, feeling the door splintering underneath her. She kicked again.

"Too slow." Faith muttered. She charged the door with all her might, and the wood gave way.

"Tara, stop that!" Buffy exclaimed.

Tara was standing in front of the mirror. Buffy's plastic razor was broken, the casing in the sink, and the blade was in Tara's hand, hovering just over her wrist. Tears fell from her eyes rapidly and her breath came out in harsh, violent, shuddering sobs. Buffy reached out and pulled Tara into her.

"Hey, what's going on up here?" Xander and Dawn asked, entering the bathroom.

"Tara!" Dawn cheered, brushing past Faith and embracing the blonde. "Oh my gods, I'm so happy to see you! Does Willow know you're-" Tara's sobbing increased at the use of the redhead's name. Dawn pulled back slightly to look at Tara's face. "What's wrong, Tar?"

"She, uh… she saw… Willow and Kennedy. Together." Buffy muttered.

"They're not together." Dawn frowned. "Willow just said she was going to break up with Kennedy, like, ten minutes ago."

Tara took a few deep breaths. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. In and out. Slow, calming breaths. Through her nose, out of her mouth. "What? Why?" Buffy asked.

"You. She still loves you, and she doesn't think anyone can match up. And then she said 'I want to be with Tara or all alone'" Dawn said to Tara honestly. "She seemed really upset." Tara's tears had subsided.

"There's something you're not telling me." Tara frowned. Her voice sounded thick.

"Tara… I think… I think she was going to kill herself." Dawn whispered sadly.

The world seemed to stop for Tara for a second. No. Not her Willow. Never. Her Willow was a fighter. She would resume. Of course she would resume. That's why she was in _their_ bedroom with that _whore_ , Kennedy. Who she was breaking up with. For her. But Willow still thought she was dead. But she was alive.

"My head hurts." Tara moaned.

"Kennedy, I said no!" Willow shouted. Less than a second later, much to the amusement of everyone standing in the bathroom, the dark haired potential flew through Willow's bedroom wall. A severely dishevelled Willow stepped through the slayer shaped hole. Anger radiated from her in waves. "Look I can't be with you! And I'm sorry if that upsets you, but under no circumstances should that mean you… _force_ yourself on someone! You are lucky I don't kill you on the spot! As it is it's pretty damn tempting!"

"Jesus. You need to chill the fuck out." Kennedy groaned, wiping away a trickle of blood that had appeared on her forehead.

"No. You need to keep it in your pants. Listen to me. I _don't_ love you. I _never_ will. I am sorry. But not as sorry as I am that I ever met you."

"You need to understand that that blonde bitch is dead. Got it? She's left. She's never coming back."

"So you decide the next logical step is to… to _rape_ me?" Willow yelled.

"I had to show you what you were passing up _somehow_." Kennedy smirked, getting up and stalking towards Willow. "Seriously, Red, isn't it time you moved on? Let me show you what a _real_ woman can do." She whispered in Willow's ear. Willow and Tara were both shaking with rage.

"Get out." Willow hissed.

"No." Kennedy replied. Willow's finger twitched, and suddenly Kennedy was pinned to the wall, unable to move.

"May we?" Buffy and Faith asked Willow.

"You may." Willow smiled, stepping aside.

Buffy and Faith left the bathroom and stepped towards Kennedy, blocking her from view of the others. Several screams and insults later, they stepped aside to reveal an extremely battered, bruised, and tearful Kennedy. Willow stepped forwards to finish the job, but Tara gathered what little strength she had and walked forward.

"Honey, I'm home." She called. Willow froze in shock. "We have some catching up to do, but first…" She approached the pained, sobbing lump that had once been Kennedy, and punched her in the face, effectively knocking her out. She twirled her finger and the floral design on the wallpaper came to life, leaping off the wall and ensnaring Kennedy in it's vines. "We'll deal with _her_ later." It only then occurred to the Scoobies that Tara hadn't stuttered once during the entire event. In fact, they had never seen the blonde so in control as she put her arms around Willow's waist and pulled the quivering woman against her. "I'm back, Will." She whispered in the redhead's ear. "Baby, it's me. I'm here." Tara whispered as her right arm began to trail up towards Willow's nape and began to stroke the space in-between her shoulder blades in small circles she knew Willow found comforting.

"Tara?" Willow gasped, then collapsed into a fit of sobs, her body melting into the other woman's. She pulled back slightly, examining every inch of Tara's face. "It's you. You're here. You're alive."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." Tara grinned.

"Tar, I'm so so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking with Kennedy. I… I tried to get rid of her, I really did, and then she wasn't going away so I might as well try to give her a chance and try to move on but it… it hurt. And that wasn't what I wanted. She wasn't what I wanted, I wanted you. It was always you. And I tried to break up with her but she wouldn't let me and she… she… she…"

"Shh. It's okay. I know, baby. I know. But it's fine. I'm here now. It's all going to be okay." Tara soothed.

"How do you know?" Willow asked, pulling back so she could look Tara right in the eye.

"Because I'm with you." Tara replied earnestly. "And I'm never leaving you again."

* * *

 **A/N~ First off, what did you think? This is my 1st time writing Buffy fanfiction and I'm not sure how good or bad I did...**

 **Also, I feel like this should have more to it. If I were to take this further than a one shot, and write about how Willow and Tara resume, and maybe(?) get Fuffy (Faith/Buffy) together?**

 **If there is any interest in that, please let me know in the comments.**


	2. Tabula Rasa

**What if… Willow was suicidal after Tara left in Tabula Rasa**

"Thank you! Now, we got something very special for you tonight. For one night only we have a very special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, witches and warlocks, please welcome… Willow Rosenberg!"

"Uh… hi. This is kinda new to me, so please, work with me here. The thing is, I did something, well, a lot of somethings, that were pretty dumb. And I hurt someone I really care about. In fact, I love her. And it's my fault that she isn't here right now. But I… I wrote this for her. And for me, sorta."

 _Paint another picture black and blue  
Take another moment, one or two  
Just to get over you_

Willow sang gently into the mic. Willow closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The band paused for a second, but resumed as Willow did.

 _When did all the gold around us rust?  
Turning all the love we had to dust  
It took the best of you  
It took the best of you_

 _Oh I've got nowhere to hide  
To say my goodbye to the girl  
I'm leaning on the edge  
Jumping off the ledge_

A single tear rolled down Willow's cheek and her voice wavered, but only slightly. She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them, new resolve was in her eyes. She had to finish her song.

 _Take another picture off the wall  
Just another moment, watch it fall  
Into the ocean blue  
Take a look at where we used to be  
Now I'm just a vessel lost at sea  
I can't get over you  
I don't know what to do_

A second tear rolled down the redhead's cheek, swiftly followed by a third, then a fourth, then a fifth.

 _Oh I've got nowhere to hide  
To say my goodbye to the girl  
I'm leaning on the edge  
I'm jumping off the ledge  
Watching the night do what the light never could_

 _So tell me I'm crazy  
It's not gonna save me  
From holding my breath  
'Til the lines blur_

Willow sang, her voice taking on a bitter tone, before she belted out the next part.

 _'Cause I've got nowhere to hide  
To say my goodbye to the girl  
And goodbye to the world_

 _Paint another picture black and blue  
Take another moment, one or two_

Willow took another breath and closed her eyes again, letting the tears fall, but determined to finish the song.

 _Oh I've got nowhere to hide  
To say my goodbye to the girl  
I'm leaning on the edge  
Jumping off the ledge  
Watching the night do what the light never could_

 _So tell me I'm crazy  
It's not gonna save me  
From holding my breath  
'Til the lines blur_

 _'Cause I've got nowhere to hide  
To say my goodbye to the girl  
And goodbye to the world  
Oh, goodbye to the world_

"The last spell, Tar, I promise." Willow whispered into the microphone. She reached into her jacket pocket and withdrew a slightly crumpled, slightly damp envelope. "Tara." She whispered to it. With that the envelope floated over the heads of the crowd to the sobbing blonde haired, blue eyed woman who could barely tear her eyes away from the stage long enough to reach out and grab the envelope. When she looked back at the stage, Willow was gone.

Tara stared at the envelope for a long moment before ripping it open. Once she had, she read through the letter as fast as she could while absorbing all the information written on the page in shaky, tearstained letters.

"Oh gods. Willow."

Tara jumped up and ran to the stage. "Where is she? Where's Willow?" Tara asked, panicked.

"She went that way." The guitarist shrugged, motioning towards the door that led to the roof.

"No. Please, no." Tara muttered, racing towards the door. "Willow!" She cried as she began to barrel up the steps. "Willow?" She slowed as she reached the top flight. She almost stopped breathing as she heard singing.

 _Oh I've got nowhere to hide_

"Willow."

 _To say my goodbye to the girl_

She burst through the door on the rooftop, blinking her eyes at the sudden brightness compared to the dingy stairwell. She cleared her vision rapidly, only to see the love of her life standing on the edge of the roof of the Bronze, lowering herself over the other side of the railing.

 _And goodbye to the world._

"Willow!" Tara cried. The redhead jumped at the unexpected shout and her hands came away from the railing. She reached out quickly and clutched the very edge of the roof.

"Tara!" Willow yelled, trying to pull herself up.

"Levitate! Hurry!" Tara yelled, heading over to her.

"I… I can't do it! It won't work!"

"Please! Try!" Tara pleaded, leaning over the other side of the railing.

"You don't understand! It really won't work!" Willow said just as her fingers slipped. Tara lunged for Willow's hand and took hold.

"I got you. I got you, Will." She whispered, pulling Willow over the railing. She pulled Willow the rest of the way and the two collapsed in a heap on the roof. "Are you okay?" She panted.

"I'm… alive." Willow replied.

"Why, Will? Why would you do that to yourself?" Tara asked sadly.

"I couldn't stand… I couldn't live with myself. I'm so sorry, Tara. I don't ever want to hurt you again." Willow sighed, looking down.

"Then don't do _that_." Tara replied, lifting Willow's chin so her tear-filled emerald eyes locked with Tara's gleaming sapphire ones. "Do you think _I_ could live with _my_ self if you did that? Did you think that wouldn't hurt me just as much as me dying would hurt you?" A choked sob burst from Willow's throat. Tara sighed and pulled Willow in for a hug.

"I… I don't know. I didn't think." Willow muttered, burrowing deeper into Tara's side.

After a brief silence Tara spoke again. "You gonna tell me why your magic didn't work?" Tara asked.

"Curse." Willow muttered. Tara pulled back slightly and raised an eyebrow. "I cursed myself. Just a little one. It was only meant to last a day, but I overdid it."

"Oh, Willow."

"It… It was only meant to last a day. Just to help me get through the first day without magic. But the book said 3 hairs and I thought it said _30_ hairs. So now I don't have magic for… ten days. Well, actually, it's more like five cos I cast it five days ago." Willow explained.

"The day after I left."

"I just… thought I might need some help. Just on the first day or so. So I could go cold turkey. And then after that I could rely on will power. Or, y'know, Willow power." Willow admitted sheepishly. "The thing is, Tar, I'm not good enough. I realise how much I hurt you. And I just thought…"

"That I could get on with my life without you if you weren't around?" Tara continued. Willow frowned.

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

"Actually, it was from your letter." Tara replied. She bit her lip in thought. "So, wait… you _cursed_ yourself for me?" Willow nodded. Tara pulled her closer, drawing the redhead in for another hug. "You didn't have to do that."

"Probably not." Willow admitted. "But I… I just wanted to make sure that I didn't break my promise."

"Thank you." Tara whispered, fully realising how much Willow cared and the extent of the smaller woman's dedication. She pushed Willow away slightly so they could lock eyes once again. "Look, Will. I love you, I really do. And this has proved to me just how much I don't want to lose you. I… I need you, Willow. And I love you so goddamn much. Do you wanna… try again?"

"There's nothing I'd like more." Willow smiled.

"But you have to promise me. You don't have to stop magic all together, just... tone it down, that's all I ask. No dabbling in dimensions. If there's anything you can do without magic, then do it like that. I'm not asking you to give up, but, the thing with magic is, it's like a drug. I don't want you to become reliant on it. I made that mistake when I first started practicing and I almost blew up the house. If my mother hadn't calmed me down I don't know what might have happened. Please? Promise me." Tara begged, tears in her eyes.

"I swear. Whatever you say." Willow said immediately. "I promise. I don't want to get that bad."

"Thank you." Tara whispered, kissing Willow passionately.

They both knew they still had a long way to go, but they could do it together.


	3. Dear Tara

**What if… Willow wrote Tara letters**

Dear Tara,  
I'm such an idiot. Like, big time.  
I can't believe I let myself get that bad. I hurt Dawn. It was all my fault.  
This demon was chasing me and Dawn, but it was too fast for us. We couldn't get away fast enough. So I borrowed someone's car (only borrowed. I meant to return it at the time) and I drove us away (I had to do it magically cos we didn't have keys) and we crashed, Tar. _I_ crashed. And I hurt Dawnie and she broke her arm and she got a cut on her head and I can't believe I did that to her.  
But I'm stopping. Cold turkey. Not just for Dawnie. And not just for you, Tare-bear. I need to do this for me, too. I see that now. And I'm determined to succeed.  
Love always,  
Willow.

Dear Tara,  
I've been magic free for five days.  
I solved a mystery today. Remember Buffy's mystery van? I found it.  
Buffy turned invisible today. Just another day, right? But it wasn't a spell or anything. It was these three guys we went to high school with. These total nerds called Warren, Johnathan, and one other. I forgot his name, but he was Tucker's brother. I told you about Tucker, right?  
Well, it was their van. And I figured it out with science. No magic at all. Really!  
I went back to where Buffy got turned invisible and I found a bunch of other invisible things. I spray painted them visible again, which took a while, but when I was done I found this fire hydrant that got smashed. It was near tyre tracks and this bit of black paint. Then I realised it was Buffy's van and used the DMV database to find the owner. There was this one time when the computer was running really slow and I almost used magic to speed it up, but I stopped myself. And there was this one other time when I almost magicked a book that was really far away over to me. But I stopped myself again. I didn't even use magic when those three idiots kidnapped me. That was probably a good thing. It's hard to use magic on something you can't see. It could have got really bad.  
Are you proud of me, Tar? I like to think you would be.  
Love always,  
Willow.

Dear Tara,  
I did something bad. Well, it wasn't really me, but it was me but if wasn't.  
If anything, it was Amy.  
She showed up at Buffy's house and said it was my birthday even though it wasn't and then she gave me my "present" and, oh, god, Tara, she put her magic on me or something and it was like I was casting and I couldn't turn it off. It didn't drain me or anything. And it felt so good, Tar. But it was wrong. So, so wrong.  
And I'm trying to quit.  
So I told Amy that if she's my friend, and even if she's not, then she should stay away from me. I think she will. And I'm not gonna do it anymore. Especially not now Amy's gone.  
I promise.  
Love always,  
Willow.

Dear Tara,  
I've been magic free for thirty seven days. The last five days were the easiest of all. And I think I know why. You, Tare-bear. I saw you outside the Magic Box five days ago, and now it's easier for me to focus on the why I'm doing this, and not the what it is I'm doing. Does that make sense?  
But I have to make a confession. I have a safety net. No one knows.  
Not much, just a few candles. Some crystals. A handful of herbs.  
The day before I stopped (so, thirty eight days ago) I locked my safety net in a drawer in Buffy's mom's wardrobe. Buffy has the key, not that she knows. It's on her set of keys for the house. She has the only one, and I put a spell on it so I can't unlock it with magic.  
But it's a safety net. And it's there. Just in case something happens. Like, what if we get magically trapped in the house? Or something happens to Buffy or Dawn and they need magic to save them? Or what if we need to put a barrier around the house and no one else can do it in time?  
I'm not going to use it unless I absolutely have to.  
But you'd do the same, right?  
Love always,  
Willow.

Dear Tara,  
I don't know what I'm doing.  
It's been forty four days without magic. Twelve days without you.  
I don't know why I'm telling you, though. It's not like anyone's actually reading these, right? If you were, then why won't you reply? Do you hate me?  
I get that I screwed up, but I'm getting better. For you. For Dawnie. For Buffy. For Xander. For Anya. For Giles. And for me. Most of all for me. I don't want to lose myself to magic. I won't let that happen. I didn't realise just how close I was until the car crash. I can't believe I let myself slip and slide into magic so much that I forgot the real world. I lost you. I almost killed Dawnie.  
But does any of it really matter? I don't mean the events, I mean me writing it down. It's not like anyone cares enough to read these. Not even you, Tara.  
Look. Can you please just give me a sign? If you're reading these, please just let me know. _Please.  
_ Love always,  
Willow.


	4. Dear Willow

**What if… Tara wrote back**

"Willow! Mail!" Buffy called from the bottom of the stairs. Willow tore down the stairs and yanked the envelope from a smiling Buffy's hand.

She looked at the familiar handwriting on the envelope disbelievingly. She tried to open the envelope, but froze. She couldn't open it. Did she want to know?

"Is it from Tara?" Buffy asked gently. Willow nodded. "Do you want me to read it?" Buffy asked. Willow nodded.

"Dear Willow." Buffy began. "I'm sorry that I haven't wrote back. I didn't know what to say. I cannot begin to tell you how long I've spent staring at a blank piece of paper and a pen. Or how many times I've had to empty my trashcan because it's overflowing with half-finished letters. I read all of your letters." Willow closed her eyes, and she could almost hear Tara reading to her, so she kept them shut. "I'm glad you're doing better. I want you to be able to control your magic. I don't want anything like the incident with Dawn or the memory spell to happen again. From what I've read, you realise that what you did was wrong. And I love you, Will. So, so much. It's killing me to be away from you. And I know that we have some stuff we have to work through, but I want to come back. If you'll have me, that is. Forever yours, Tara."

"Oh, Tara." Willow whispered, a tear falling from her closed eyes. "Please come back."

"Open your eyes, Willow." Buffy whispered. But it wasn't Buffy. It was-

"Tara!" Willow exclaimed happily, her eyes shooting open. The blonde woman standing awkwardly in the doorway holding her letter smiled and nodded. Willow jumped up, opening her arms for a hug, which Tara reciprocated. "I'm so sorry. I love you so much." Willow whispered.

"I know. But I'm here now. I'm back. If you'll have me, that is." Tara replied.

"Of course. Are you sure?" Willow asked.

"Yes. But we have to… to talk. We have some stuff to work through. Okay?" Tara said.

"Okay." Willow agreed. "But… this is it? You're back? For real?"

"Yeah."

"And you still love me?" Willow asked.

Tara smiled. "Who said I stopped?"

 **A/N~ Okay, I know I said they were all one- shots, but I felt that Dear Tara was unfinished and deserved a better ending.**

 **Also, PLEASE send in prompts. Like, PM me or comment with something. Doesn't even have to be Willow/Tara. Buffy/Faith might be fun... Or Xander/Anya. Or pretty much any couple, any "What if" and I'll write it. Just one rule- NO Giles/Member of the scooby gang. Seriously. I mean it.**

 **But, yeah, other than that, any "what ifs" you've had about the Buffyverse. That's sort of the whole point of this...**


End file.
